Is That A Weave? The Good Hair Chronicles

A few weeks ago one of my good friends posted a Facebook status about an experience she had with a perfect stranger. While attending the funeral of a 40 something woman who had lost her battle with cancer(how ironic),  some random guy(jerk) told her that her hair was too short and that his wife wouldn’t have made it two weeks if she had cut her hair that short.  Now I don’t know if this statement meant that he would have divorced her for cutting her hair, however considering his ignorance she probably would be better off.  My friend was taken aback by his insulting statement and stood there pondering what he meant by the wouldn’t have made it two weeks comment.  She posted this on Facebook and received a fair amount of comments from other African American women.  Comments like,”are men still hung up on hair”, “girl don’t worry about it, he is just ignorant’, and my own comment of “what?”  Much value is placed on the length and texture of women’s hair, especially it seems in the African American community. For those of you who are not familiar with the term ”good hair” it means hair that is naturally straight without the use of chemicals(relaxers).  So not only is there value placed on the length of one’s hair, the texture is also very important.   The question is why?

In my life hair has always been a fashion accesory…meaning its run the gamut from super, super, short to hanging down my back(thanks to Indi Remy 14′ 1B)thats weave for those who don’t know.  My only real hair requirement is low maintainance, meaning I need to spend less than 20 minutes styling it.  However,  I do realize for some of us, hair or more specifically long hair is deeply connected to our self esteem and our perceptions of beauty.  We have accepted the Western ideal that long, straight hair is inextricably tied to femininity, beauty, and grace.  Even the bible characterizes a woman’s hair as her “glory”.  No wonder the black hair business generates over nine billion dollars according to Chris Rock’s upcoming documentary, “Good Hair”.  The black hair business is recession proof, because no matter how damn bad it gets sisters will be getting their hair done.

I cannot count the number of times I have been told by young women participating in BlackGurl Inc. workshops,  that working out is out of the question because of their hair.  “I cannot swim, run, or do anything that will jeopardize my hairdo”.  Many of them tell me stories of sleeping with their heads hanging off the bed in an effort to maintain a hairstyle.  WTF? .  I am always dismayed by these stories because they indicate how deeply rooted this issue has become in our community.   Diabetes, high blood pressure, and many other chronic conditions are birthed because we refuse to exercise…hair or health?    What is wrong with this picture? 

My mom was diagnosed with early stage Triple Negative breast cancer last Spring.  One of her major concerns was the chemo side effect of hair loss…never mind that she was dealing with one of the deadliest forms of breast cancer affecting women of African descent.  Her baldness caused her much trepidation and she wouldn’t allow her own husband to see her bald head.  So even in a struggle for life the issue of hair takes center stage…WOW!  This incident really made me understand how seriously hair is tied to some Black women’s self esteem and self-regard.   FYI, my mom is now cancer free, thank GOD!

The standard of beauty in this country and probably the world is a long haired blond, stick thin, big breasted, white woman.  Where do African American women fit into this standard…no where!  So we grab hold of the part we can emulate and that is the hair.  Weave, braids, wigs, and hair pieces have allowed many Black women access to shoulder length and beyond hair.  African American men, for the most part find long hair very attractive and associate it with femininity and beauty and are adamant in their disdain for short hairstyles.  Does whats under the hair matter at all?  For the record I have girlfriends that are naturally long-haired and some have made the courageous decision to sport short hair.  Many women who wear short hair styles will tell you that they get some very interesting comments from Black men and women.  It’s as if short hair is an affront to many in our community.

The gentleman who voiced his unintelligent opinion to my girlfriend had no idea that not only does she have an MBA from one fo the most prestigious business schools in the U.S.(Northwestern University), she is also kind, generous, compassionate, funny, and an overall wonderful human being.  His comments reduced her to nothing more than “the protein filament” that grows on top of her head.  His actions speak to the need for consciousness raising in our communities.  India Arie’s “I Am Not My Hair” created an anthem for the  Black woman’s resistance strategy to the hair issue, yet even those of us who loved and felt liberated singing this song quickly resorted back to the status quo.  It is clear that some of us feel like whatever is attractive to unconscious and unevolved men is exactly what they will choose to do…no matter the cost, message to younger women, and denial of self . 

Every African American woman has a right to do whatever she wants with her hair…I am asking that we delve deeper into the politics of our hair issues.  Why do we associate long, straight hair with our attractiveness?  What about self-actualization and the examination of the non-black and black constructs that created this nonsense?  How do our attitudes about hair impact African American girls and young women?  If our hair is super kinky and short, are we somehow less desirable and less valuable? Do we really want men in our lives that are shallow and ignorant enough to make the length and texture of our hair the litmus test of our attractiveness?  I really want anyone reading this blog to think about those questions, because your answers will undoubtedly measure your level of consciousness.   ”Good hair” is having some hair on your head, period.  And to that lost brother down in Georgia , who insulted my friend I say, GYST(get your shit together)!