Amber Cole: Where Is The Love?
Yesterday I received a phone call from my godson, Gabriel Charles telling me to check out the trending topics on Twitter for a videotape of a young black woman performing a sex act on a boy outside her school. Well being the activist and lover of all things Black woman, I immediately went to Twitter to check it out. Sure enough there is the video with a very young “Amber Cole” on her knees outside of a school performing a sex act on a boy while several other young men laugh. Not sure who the videographer is, however I will go out on a limb and say it’s probably a boy. My heart sank as I watch all of these babies demoralize themselves very willingly, laughing all the way. For me everyone in this video was unaware of their humanity.
Apparently Amber Cole is a fourteen year old-young woman, who did comment on the video by saying “she is just a young girl, doing what young girls do”. I thought her comment was very telling about the world and culture in which young women are coming of age. Amber’s comment is true, based on what I hear in BlackGurl Inc. group sessions. Girls and boys have engaged in sex acts on school grounds forever, however the difference is it wasn’t captured on cell phones with cameras and then distributed to Facebook and Twitter for public consumption.
What was most disturbing to me besides the fact that this young woman clearly needs some support, was the remarks and the level of HATE being displayed for girls and women via the comments. You would think that folks would have compassion and concern for this young woman…not! As I scrolled down the Twitter page, the remarks ranged from ignorant to outright hateful. This young woman was maligned and dehumanized by mostly African-Americans. You could literally count on one hand the comments that openly expressed concern for Amber’s well-being.
Amber Cole represents many young women who do not understand and are not connected to their self-worth. In the video, she personifies an entire genre of hip hop’s anti-woman lyrics and becomes the poster girl for Lil Wayne’s lyrics. But what I find more disturbing than the video itself is the hate being spewed towards a young African-American woman, by mostly African-American people. Everyday I work with young women whose low self-esteem, lack of parenting, and self-hate dictate their behavior. They are only behaving in ways that misogyny instructs them to. When you know better you do better.
There have been many things written about Amber Cole and whether or not her name is actually Amber Cole or Lisa Butler, she is human and therefore worthy of our compassion and love. Amber needs a community of conscious African-American women to wrap their arms around her. She needs to know that she comes from many women who didn’t need to use their bodies and mouths to gain the affection of unworthy men. But more than anything she needs to know that we love her no matter what! Amber Cole is ME and many other African-American women who need direction and consciousness raising. Where is the LOVE?
Lisa Butler is the Founder and President of BlackGurl Inc. a consulting company dedicated to the empowerment of African American women and girls. BlackGurl Inc. employs workshops, seminars, and group support services to empower the lives of young women. Lisa is also the author of 12 Ways To Improve the Self Esteem Of African American Girls Right Now! Go now to www.blackgurlinc.org/, like us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/BlackGurlInc or follow us on Twitterhttps://twitter.com/#!/blackgurlinc69 .
